Aisyah, The Rosy Cheeks…

9^th October ago  was Aisyah’s 6^th birthday. Aisyah is my second daughter, a little girl with the rosy cheeks , and mostly always seen whenever she smiles. She has not started school yet, coz based on our experience with my first daughter, her sister (she was going to her fist class in primary school at her 6 years least, and even she could learn well, she got the problem with her emotion). That’s why we decided to register Aisyah next year. We have to make sure that she is really ready for her school matters.

Aisyah likes helping me in everyway she can. “Bun, is there something I can do for you?” is a question she always asks  whenever I am busy in the kitchen. I don't want to discourage her to help me so I asked her to wash the dishes. She loves doing that coz she could playing with the bubles from washing liquid. I let her doing that.

Aisyah also loves drawing, playing the legos, accompany her youngest brother Zulfikar, and  loves to play at outdoor. Sometimes she picks some flowers from our yard and giving them to me. “For you, Bun”, she said and put that flowers behinds my right ear. “Oh, you look beautiful, Bun” . She cheered me with the dimples looked from both sides of her  rosy cheeks.

“Thank you, Darling..” I smiled back at her for her beautiful flowers and  of course, especially for her beautiful smile.

I notice Aisyah has   interest  in cooking matters, instead of her sister. Ai, we called her, likes to involve at my cooking activity in the kitchen, especially  when I make the cake or cookies for them (the kids). Cracking  the eggs, stiring flour, or rolling the dough, is the deeds she likes much.

Deep in my heart, I have  a guilty feeling for my little Ai. I remember when I got pregnant of her. I didn’t ready at that time for carrying her. And that conditions keeps continue after the birth. I got the baby blues. For months I refused to have much  emotional contacts with her. And my  breast milk didn’t come out. From my 4 children we have, Ai is the only one who didn’t get my breast milk at all.

Then, oneday, when my hubby put her on my lap,  I saw her eyes staring at me. So innocent, so weak, and her tiny hands trying to grab me (she was a few months at that times). That moment was the time I really saw her with my heart, not my eyes only. And tears falling down from my eyes on her face uncontrolly.  I hugged her, kissing her face and her little body with all regrets.  I said “I’m sorry” to her many times. That’s the moment I won’t forget, the moment I got my conciousnes that she was my lovely baby, and I loved her much, same as I loved the other her sister and brothers  Alhamdulillah.., from then on, things going well between me and Ai.

Ai grows healthy and happy. She was 8 months old  when we moved to our own house we live in until now.  And Ai is the one who always easy to get friends with everyone here. Our neighbours said Ai always smiles and greets  back whenever they greet her. She has a lot of friends too here, and spent the time playing together with them, sometimes at one of her friend’s house, and sometimes at ours , playing with the swing that hanging at the branch of our avocado’s tree there.

I’m really thankful to Allah for giving her to us, to see her grows healthy and became a cheerful kid, and it’s relief the  guilty feeling for ignoring her in her early days of her birth.

I Love You My Rosy Cheeks Ai..

Forgive me for ignoring you at your early days..

And happy birthday, my dear…..